How sweet Li Qingzhao's married life is! What does Chinese Love look like from Classical Poetry

dictation: Zou Jianjun (Professor, doctoral Director, School of Literature, Central China normal University, Director of China Poetry Association)

Wen: Tian Xiangyu

the seventh day of July

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"Qixi Festival is watching Bixiao tonight, leading cattle and weaver girls across the river bridge." With the arrival of the traditional Chinese festival Qixi Festival, the sweet and romantic atmosphere of love is becoming stronger and stronger.

Love is an eternal theme in ancient poetry.

"Guan Guan singing waterfowl, living on the sandbar in the river, a kind and beautiful girl, a good mate of a good man." There are many chapters describing love in the early collection of poems, the Book of songs, and later dynasties' poetry works are more fond of love stories, the loyal love of Cowherd and Weaver Girl, the tragic butterflies of Liang Shanbo and Zhu Yingtai, and the bosom friends of Li Qingzhao and Zhao Mingcheng. All have left poems that have been recited through the ages.

in this Qixi Festival, let's work together

take a look at the love concepts contained in ancient poems that are still worth learning and drawing lessons from by young people.

wait silently for the loss of marriage and take the initiative to get true love

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midnight song its ten

Yuefu of the Southern Dynasty

have a good heart,

emigrated to the countryside.

before Tongshu Shengmen,

see Wuzi in and out.

the most fascinating thing about love is the heartbeat of ten thousand years. For the sake of this passion, there are too many people who are desperate to take action. Yuefu of the Southern Dynasty "Midnight Song (its Ten)" describes such a beautiful incisively and vividly.

"have a good heart and move to the countryside. In front of Tongshusheng, he went in and out to see Wu Zi. " She fell in love with a man, and every time she saw him, the fawn bumped about and blushed. However, the man does not know the existence of a woman, and the two do not have many opportunities to see each other.

she thought: what should we do if we can't just let love slip away from our eyes? She decisively chose to move, moved her family to the vicinity of her heart, and became a neighbor with him.

I think, at that moment, the woman was probably thinking proudly: if I hang around under your nose every day, I can't believe you can't notice me, huh!

there is a plane tree in front of the new house, which can be seen every time I go in and out. It is said to look at the plane tree, in fact, it is to see the beloved, but also means that a woman's love can eventually get a man's response. It is said in the folk that the Phoenix bird, which symbolizes auspiciousness, often lives on the sycamore tree, so the sycamore has the meaning of good luck. When I see the sycamore, I see the road to happiness.

through the big action of relocation and the small metaphor of Indus, it not only vividly expresses the woman's passionate love for the person she loves, but also directly shows her initiative in the pursuit of love.

I believe that in the coming days, with the increase of contact, this woman who bravely pursues her love will get what she wants.

it is probably that the initiation of love is so intense that many people become timid. Some people worry that once they fall in love first, they will lose the initiative of their feelings and will be pinched everywhere. Some people worry that if the other party has no intention to them, the scene of confession will change into the moment of social death, and the heart will inevitably receive 10,000 critical blows. In case the other party says something bad, falling in love is not humiliated, it is even more painful.

all kinds of worries and worries make these people choose to wait, and even stubbornly think that love is like a war, and the one who takes the initiative will lose. Therefore, no matter how much you like someone, you should be reserved and wait for the other person to take the initiative. Unexpectedly, the other party is also waiting for an active person. In this way, a beautiful love is missed and annihilated, leaving only regrets.

actually,

Love does not fall from the tree as naturally as ripe apples, so we need to actively seek and grasp

. Silent love is like a stone hidden under the water, can not attract each other's attention, let alone harvest response.

inseparable from crazy dreams, intimacy has true wisdom

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Magpie bridge fairy

Song Qin Guan

Xian Yun coincidentally, flying stars spread hate,

Silver Han is far away and dark.

Jinfeng Yulu meet,

wins easily, but there are countless people in the world.

tenderness is like water, a good time is like a dream,

can't bear to return to the magpie bridge.

if the relationship lasts for a long time,

is it day and night?

when it comes to love in ancient poetry, it is inevitable to avoid the infatuated love between the cowherd and the weaver girl. Qin Guan's sentence, "if the two love for a long time, will not be in the day and night" has become a good phrase that has been handed down through the ages.

it is said that Weaver Girl is good at weaving and falls into the prosperous world as soon as she can weave. However, after all, gorgeous and colorful is only someone else's, she only finds such a day-to-day life extremely boring. So one day, she secretly went down to earth, found the right husband, and experienced the fireworks in the world. The Emperor of Heaven was so angry that he took Zhinu back to the Heavenly Palace and broke her up with the Cowherd.

the Queen Mother also pulled out her hairpin and drew a Tianhe river between the cowherd and the weaver girl. As a result, they can only be "full of water, speechless". Despite the resistance, Zhinu and the Cowherd did not flinch and still loved deeply.

all lovers look forward to holding hands and growing old together for a lifetime, but if there are insurmountable difficulties and obstacles, they cannot be accompanied every day, and there is no need to mourn and sigh, as Qin Guan said in his poems.

True love does not lie in the attachment that is inseparable, but in the tacit understanding in the depths of the heart

. As long as there is love, distance is not a problem; just because there is love, distance should be kept

therefore, love seen only once a year should not be regarded as a bitter drama to pity, but should be enjoyed as a motivational drama. Just like every Qixi Festival in ancient times, women would make a wish to Vega and Altair, hoping that they could find a good relationship like them, and that they would never forget each other.

I have to say that Qin Guan continued the happy ending of Cowherd and Weaver Girl for us in just 14 words, which opened up the cosmic pattern of human love. True intimacy should not be the bondage of airtight, but the breath of intimacy. I think this is also an important reason why this poem stands out among so many poems that tell Qixi Festival's story.

many people yearn for love "day and night". Think that inseparable, can continue to maintain the feeling of the heart; think that must become conjoined twins, in order to achieve the wish to grow old. They try to bring their lovers into their own world or into each other's world, as if the adhesion between lovers can measure the depth of love, as if 24-hour companionship can prove the existence and strength of love. As everyone knows, excessive adhesion will make us lose ourselves, and make love become heavy and suffocating.

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maybe we need to re-examine love and find the most beautiful balance between intimacy and independence. Learn to be independent in love and have your own interests, hobbies and circle of friends. Independent personal space gives us opportunities for self-reflection and self-growth, a better understanding of our needs and expectations, and a better understanding of our roles and responsibilities in relationships.

understand and respect your partner's independence, give each other some time and space to be alone, and encourage them to pursue their interests and goals. If each other can grow, we can broaden our horizons and be more open and tolerant. Moderate relaxation of the requirements for perfect love, allow your partner to make mistakes, also allow yourself to make mistakes, communicate openly, understand each other through communication, express your needs, and listen to each other's ideas.

when love has a chance to breathe, it is possible for each other to grow. May every pair of lovers be close to each other, one person is comfortable, two people are wonderful.